Day 1: The Zombie Apocolaypse Has Begun

Dear diary, it has been less than 24 hours since the outbreak occurred. It's unbelievable how quickly it has spread.  There was always casual talk of how a Zombie Apocalypse would "go down" and how everyone would react. For the most part people believe that it wouldn't spread so fast, that they could resist it and even control those who were infected. People mentioned how their band of friends would stick together, how they were prepared. How they wouldn't be surprised or unprepared. That was, until it actually happened.

The first report about the outbreak was at approximately noon Eastern Standard Time on October 30th, 2012. It came so quickly that I think most people were in disbelief or just dismissed it as not true. I know I was caught off guard.  I thought there were measures in place to prevent such an outbreak? What happened?  Within minutes social networking was flooding with news of this apocalyptic event. The reality hit and we knew we had to band together and begin this fight. Initially it looked like we were going to be okay. It looked like we could handle this. Then all hell broke loose.

I immediately started messaging my "experts", it was then the shock hit me, that they were already infected. They had already TURNED. At first glance it's hard to tell they had turned, but then you notice the signs: Blank stare. Repeating the same statements over and over. They come at you, relentless in their determination to convert you.

They moan mostly two different sayings: "uuuuhhh oohhhh. Did you see what Disney did for the Avengers?  Uuuhhh oohhhh. It was a fantastic movie and grossed hundreds of millions of dollars." Then you hear from a different direction, from a different zombie: "oohhhh, uhhhhh It has to be better than what Lucas did with the prequels. They were such crap. OOhhh uuuughhh." At first you think it's just one person, that it's unique, but it's not. They come from all angles, they come from Facebook, from twitter, from the news, from Star Wars forums.  Your friends are messaging you, you even receive phone calls!!  All muttering the same two things!!:  "UUHHHH OOOHHHHH DID YOU SEE THE AVENGERS?!?! IT WAS SOOOO GOOD!! UUUHHH OHHH!!!"  From all directions! Coming relentlessly!!!  "OOOOH OOHHH UUUUUH!!  IT HAS TO BE BETTER THAN THE CRAP LUCAS DID WITH THOSE PREQUELS!!  UUUUH OOHHH!!.

I'm fighting for my life!  I'm trying to escape!!  I'm trying to find one friend, one person, someone out there that hasn't been turned!  So far a couple of close family members seem to be holding out, but they are weakening. I have one friend who is holding on, but I can see he's been bitten and he's going in and out of consciousness. I think I heard him mutter something about a "joss whedon".  I'm not sure who that is, or his significance in this outbreak.

I have found a few hold outs across the globe, they are trying to survive. However they are experiencing the same issues, relentless onslaughts of talk of "Avengers" and "How bad George Lucas screwed up the prequels." It seems the virus is evolving. I've heard new, shocking reports from the resistance that "it's a good thing that a new Star Wars movie will be made every two years, regardless of continuity or story". Shocking reports that the Extended Universe of stories will mostly like be rewritten like some new version of Star Trek where Vulcan is blown of from the start erasing decades of stories. Even the subtleties we take for granted like the 20th Century Fox fanfare and lack of introductory credits. We can't even turn to our leaders like Seth Green and Kevin Smith. All of Hollywood was turned first, and in hindsight it makes sense: they are of the epicenter of the outbreak. Hollywood and the media are mostly controlled by Disney now.

Here is the most disturbing thing, I'm not going to sugar coat it. We are all infected. It's not "if" we will turn, it's WHEN we will turn. One day we will all be Zombies. One day we will all be brainless monsters that have no cognitive functions. We will ALL merely feed off of Star Wars films release by Disney every few years. No substance, no story, no history, no originality. Humanity is over.

Even though our fate is predetermined, we can spend our last days knowing we fought to the bitter end!  All those who have not been turned, JOIN TOGETHER!!!  Fight to the end! I'm  Rick Grimes bitch!!

----- Hey! How'd you get in here? "Avengers"?! Fuck! "Micheal Bay directing"?!?! "Costuming groups receiving cease and desist letters"? NO!! NO!!! This can't be happening!! Die you undead bitch!  No, I don't want Tinkerbell flying over the castle in the opening credits!! Captain Jack Sparrow replaces Han!? I wish for the days Greedo shot first! No! get off me! no no NOOO!! Ahh Uhhh NNOOoooooo.......... ------

Image: Simon Lutrin/Wired

-Todzilla

Todzilla's take on "The Phantom Menace 3D"

For me planning for the "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D" experience started months ago obviously when it was announced. Of course in my circle of friends there is always going to be mixed feelings on whether or not we should see it, and for some, if it should have even been made!!  This post isn't about the "if it should have been made", I'll be tackling that whole disscussion in future posts.

Many friends just straight up declined, mostly giving the excuse that "Episode I" is the worst movie of the saga. Yes, they even went into hating on Jar-Jar Binks. Still though, with what these guys spend on a Friday night at a bar, the cost of a 3D movie shouldn't have been a big deal.

Anyhow without further delay, here are my thoughts on the movie and the night in general. You never know how the public is going to receive these things. I assumed there wouldn't be a big turnout, just a gut feeling and a little bit of history. My gang only ended up being my niece, two homies and a homie's girlfriend (who I'm sure hadn't seen this Star Wars movie before). I of course choose the Rave Motion theaters at Town Center in the heart of Las Vegas. They sport all digital and 3D theaters, not to mention Town Center has a lot of places for food and drinks, so easy to kill time at if need be.

Long story short we hit up the theater about an hour early and initially we got a little worried as there was a long line of teens! Sadly though the line was for the movie "The Vow". "The Vow"? It appeared to be a love story. Seriously? Camping out for a love story? I feel bad for the dudes in that line.

Erinn sporting her Star Wars shirt and her "Vader Valentines" candy.

We tried several times to get seating in the empty theater, but the cleaning crew threw us out on every attempt. Finally when we were allowed in, we rushed the theater for prime seating! This of course was all done in sarcastic fashion as we were the only ones waiting in first place. Another thought was they put the "Phantom menace" in a smaller theater (which concerned me). By the time the film started there were I'd say about 30 people total, again a disappointing turn out.

Zilla's Critique of the film:
First lets talk sound, I was worried that the smaller theater would be bad, and I may have been right. The sound levels seemed way off. Mostly just real low, flat sounding. Being a guy that's seen the Star Wars films probably in the hundreds of times, I know which scenes should be loud. The sound was lacking, but I blame the theater.

Next the film quality. It was lacking too. It had a very "washed out" look. Almost over exposed. If you've seen the Star Wars movies on blu-ray you know how vibrant the colors can be, especially in the prequels. This movie was just flat. Again I can't say it was the theater, could have been, but I think it may have been the actual 3D transfer.

I'll be the first to say I'm not a fan of 3D movies, new or old. The 3D did add depth to some scenes, but it's my opinion that your brain and eyes just adjust to it after a while anyway. The good news is it seemed to be the blu-ray version of Episode I, so you got to experience the extended pod race along with the fully digital Yoda! No longer a crappy puppet, but full CGI with great facial expressions.


Final thoughts and what to do next time:
Could you just watch this movie on blu-ray at your house (assuming you have a blu-ray player and the movie)? Yes. But, it's not the same as seeing it in the theater. Granted seeing it in the theater means seeing it as a community, and if no one is showing up to see it, there isn't much of a "community". I'd still say go out and see it with friends and family, especially if you don't own it on blu-ray. However for the next release of a Star Wars movie in 3D (most likely "Attack of the Clones"), see it at a midnight release! Something we should have planned to do but didn't. Even better check to see if your local 501st boys are going to be out in costume at the next midnight release. Seeing it at midnight with real fans gives you the real Star Wars experience.

Long story short, go out and see Phantom Menace in 3D!!! Why? Because in the end it's Star Wars, and Star Wars is one of most universally social things you can take part in.

If you like this post, be sure and share it with all your friends. Share it even if you hate it. There's nothing I like more than debating Star Wars. May the Force be with you...